To rock, and not to roll.


Sometimes playing live just sucks.

It is always a challenge, and rarely the ecstatic, carthatic 1-hour orgasm you want it to be. Sometimes it is, and that is what most of us musicians are doing this for. But sometimes it is just hard work, no matter how passionate you are about it.

Today I had one of those gigs. You walk on stage, and some tiny invisible goblin has changed ALL the settings you made during the soundcheck, and then the fun starts: the singer breaks a string on his guitar. Exactly the same string breaks at roughly the same time on the backup guitar (gnomes, again, I’m sure) and while you run around trying to fix this the person responsible for your monitor sound decides to go for a walk.

His replacement doesn’t understand sign language of the most rudimentary kind, which is bad, because you cannot talk while you play and sing a song. During the next 30 minutes you wonder if there are drugs in your drinks, because the sounds emanating from the monitor speakers remind you of the first rehearsal with your first band, like, ever.

The drummer you can usually rely on suddenly forgets a part you played flawlessly together for the last 180 times you played that song, and when the singer can’t remember a song he wrote and played for 9 years you know that this is a good day to die.

On such a day it doesn’t matter that the audience seemingly enjoyed it, and no compliment in the world can take away the irritation such a gig causes.

And then I go home, and stop worrying, because the universe tends to honour such a desaster with its complete opposite the next time I walk on stage. If it works this time, too, I will probably ejaculate five times before I walk off again. Looking forward to that.

Tomorrow I will record the rest of the guitars, and start singing in what I hope to be gnome-free territory! Oh joy!




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