I am on a trip right now. The journey will take me from my home in Regensburg, where I left my lovely wife in the arms of Orpheus, to Rotterdam, where I will meet some of the best people there are. Some of these I have known and loved for many, many years, some go back to my childhood. I shared with them my youth, the pains of growing up, and the long way of finding home to what we each think we are and need and love to do.
This trip feels like the end credits to a long and winding road trip. Which means it also marks the joyous agony of a renaissance. I will be a musician, on my own. I will finally begin publishing my solo-project. Technically speaking I have been working on this for 3 years, but as always is the case with anything so cruelly personal, this has been in the making for all of my life, 29 years an going.
I recently acted on my impulses and just published a song I had written the day before, because I liked it so much that I wanted my friends to hear it. That led to me publishing some more, because a one-song-album on bandcamp just looks stupid, and I heard the song crying at night. So here I am.
I am afraid of so many things that I won’t even start describing them. For now. I am also looking forward to what will come with the innocence of the very first band I played in back when Pluto was still a planet. The fact that I mentioned my fears first speaks volumes. I wonder if I am an absolute idiot for trying this regardless of these insecurities, or if these fears are what actually gives me something to say.
I will share this process with you because describing it helps me understand it. How selfish.
Take care, love,